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Post by ian on Jul 21, 2011 20:11:15 GMT -5
ian had been practically shaking with nerves all night, though he was able to keep himself in check through dinner. he had conned his parents and ily to get out of the house for the night, because as nervous as he was he wanted to actually try.. things. he'd wanted to for a while, and he'd been planning for this night for ages. decisions were all over the place, though. fancy dinner, cheap dinner, fancy hotel, his place.. he didn't know how to make it just right. either way, it was going to be awkward, and he knew that much. laying down on his bed, he waited for noah to cuddle up to him, clinging to him closely. hi there, he said, laughing lightly and kissing his forehead. ian closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm his mind enough to give his speech without stammering like a nervous idiot. though, he knew that it was going to happen anyway.
rolling onto his side, ian kept his arms wrapped around noah as he looked at his face, taking another deep breath. noah you are.. th-the absolute best thing t-to happen to me.. we-well, e-ever. pausing, ian lifted one hand to caress noah's cheek before continuing. you m-mean the world to me, an-and i can't pict-picture myself with anyone o-other than you. n-nobody el-else mades me as h-happy as you do. he leaned down to gently kiss him, his hand sliding down to hold onto his shirt a bit. i love you, noah. with a-all my heart and then.. then some. ian looked down a bit and tugged at his shirt before looking back at his face nervously, a blush creeping up on his cheeks.
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Post by noah rupert conrad on Jul 21, 2011 20:55:12 GMT -5
noah really didn't have a clue what ian's plans were for the evening, but he was happy to go along with them just the same. in all honesty, he'd do anything for ian if it meant he was happy, even he was terrified of it. looking up from where he was sitting, noah smiled brightly and slid into the space beside the boy, arms winding around ian's waist easily. hey you, he responded, grinning as his forehead was kissed. with a happy sigh, noah snuggled in closer to ian's side, waiting patiently for what he wanted to say.
turning his body to match ian's, noah tangled his legs with the boy's while his arms repositioned to hold him tightly. holding his breath to keep from interrupting, noah couldn't help but blush furiously as he listened to ian speak. he knew the stuttering made ian self-conscious, but noah couldn't help but find it cute. besides, the effort ian was making to give him the speech in person made everything that much better. grabbing onto the back of ian's shirt, noah held onto the kiss a moment longer while the fluttering in his stomach turned to full on somersaults. i love you too, ian. more than anything. leaning forward another time, noah carefully placed his hand under ian's jaw and guided him back towards his lips.
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Post by ian on Jul 21, 2011 21:44:39 GMT -5
ian was scared. no, that was an understatement. ian was absolutely terrified. he'd never actually believed he could be gay until noah came along being all cute and stuff. the first sign was the butterflies in his stomach that he started to get around him. of course, telling ilyssa hadn't been the smartest move, considering the fact that ily was actually fairly close with noah. having her tell noah ruined everything, but then it was all better. even with the drama, ian was in love with noah and he wasn't going to let a little drama ruin their relationship. the younger guy could send his entire world spinning with the simplest of touches or looks. just having him cuddled up with him, lets tangled and fidgeting with each other's shirts was sending chills down his spine.
all the thoughts in his mind disappeared the second that noah kissed him. it always drove ian absolutely crazy -- in a good way, of course -- when noah took control of things. it didn't matter how rare it was, it was always hot. like right then. ian rolled, propping himself over noah and not pulling back like he normally would. his stomach twisted and turned the longer they kissed. no matter how many times they did this, it was different. ian knew that in his gut that was driving him mad for more. his hands trailed to push noah's shirt up, only pulling away long enough to toss it to the side before pulling back into the kiss. nothing else mattered at that moment more than himself and his boyfriend.
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Post by noah rupert conrad on Jul 22, 2011 0:05:22 GMT -5
when it came to anything remotely sexual, noah was nervous. he wasn't experienced (with either gender) and having someone like ian who'd been through it all before made him anxious. it wasn't that he didn't want to, because he did.. but just when he'd been trying to wrap his head around sleeping with a girl, he'd switched teams, and that in itself was stressful. now there were different parts involved, different places, and noah had no idea about any of it. the only thing he could really rely on were the pamphlets his dad had brought him, and the fact that he trusted ian to take care of him when it happened.
the second his shirt came off, the butterflies in noah's stomach came back in full force. his mind started racing, and even though he was freaking out inside, it didn't stop him from copying ian's movements. hands shaking, noah slipped them under the hem of the boy's shirt, tugging it gently over his head before dropping it to the floor. are you.. he asked, biting his lip before pausing mid-sentence, are we.. ? he managed, letting his head drop back into the pillows before lifting his hands to ian's face to pull him closer. is this.. this really happening? he whispered.
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Post by ian on Jul 22, 2011 0:17:54 GMT -5
the last few years of ian's life had all mostly been a blur when it came to girls. they came, they went, he avoiding feeling anything for any of them. in all honesty, he had always been a little curious as to why that was, and had come to the conclusion more than once it might mean he was gay. it took a lot of drinking or smoking for most girls to even get a reaction out of ian, but none of the guys knew that. he'd never actually told any of them about how much he hated hooking up with girls, because they would have turned the twisted jokes around on him. ian was the leader of the group, basically, so he had been scared that if he came out, he would lose everyone. they had turned out to be a lot more understanding, other than tucker. but that wasn't what was on ian's mind at all.
ian's lips found noah's neck once his own shirt had come off, gently kissing the place a few times before he heard noah speak. the butterflies in his stomach sped up past butterflies and onto the feeling of a bunch of helicopters whirling around in circles, doing flips and whatnot. it really was happening. reality hit him in the face, licking at his lips and looking into noah's eyes. he couldn't seem to manage to get words to come out of his mouth so he just nodded, pausing mid-nod. i.. if it's o-okay with you.. he whispered back, trailing off. he looked down to noah's chest, tracing circles on his skin with one of his hands. ian licked at his lips, taking a deep breath as the desire still kept building in him. he'd be find if noah didn't want to he just.. yeah. he was really hoping that he did.
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Post by noah rupert conrad on Jul 22, 2011 1:04:25 GMT -5
to put it simply, noah was freaking the fuck out. he couldn't believe what he was about to do. out of everything he'd imagined in the past year, sleeping with ian hadn't been one of them. now that he was finally here, with ian kissing his neck, noah couldn't picture himself anywhere else. he was nervous, he was scared, and he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. but it was happening. it was finally happening, and even though a part of him was screaming no, the rest of him was ready to take a risk. he loved ian, and he wanted to move forward.
nodding slowly, noah squirmed underneath him. i.. ye-yeah. he managed, trying not to lose focus as ian traced circles on his chest. i'm.. i'm okay with it. he spluttered, blushing madly. i'm. i'm ready. with a semi-confident nod, he trailed his hands down ian's sides and paused once he reached his jeans. i.. i love you. he added, hands reaching forward to undo ian's button and zipper clumsily. his hands were shaking so much, he had to stop and take a deep breath before continuing. s-sorry. he mumbled, face heating up like a firetruck.
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Post by ian on Jul 22, 2011 1:19:34 GMT -5
it would be a complete lie if ian said he'd never thought about him and noah actually making it to this point. before he actually came out he'd thought about it once or twice, not in a creepy way but in a "i wonder if life would be simpler" kind of way. it was definitely easier being out of the closet than it had been before. he didn't have to lie and act like he was proud he was going off sleeping with people. the only person he wanted to be with was noah, and he had just that and it meant more than anything else to him. his head was racing at a million miles an hour, which just made the helicopter stomach flip around even more.
squirming a small bit as well, ian's stomach did kartwheels inside of him as noah reassured him he was fine with it. he nodded back at him, trying to focus on the circles as best as he could, but failing. he shook his head gently at the apology. he understood the hesitation. going down on one another was different than what as going on, there was less confidence for both of them. this wasn't just some random hookup or anything. it was noah's first time not just with a guy but with anyone, and that's exactly why ian had wanted everything to be nice. the fact that he'd never been with a guy either wasn't the important part. he cared more about noah than himself. iloveyou, he whispered, the words sort of rushing together as he stared at his own hands trailing along noah's body. it was really happening. if it hadn't been such a serious situation, he probably would have felt the urge to geek out about it.
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