∞ you're gonna be the one , ( leo )

[kayleigh]

Losing touch with her parents was one thing, but Kayleigh had never thought that she would lose Skylar as well. She was right, though. Kay had been selfish, but she couldn't help it. Mentally unstable was the perfect way to describe her for the past two years, as horrible as that sounded. The pills that the therapist had prescribed to her seemed to work just fine, if not a little too well. She kind of felt high, but she wasn't going to complain. It might just be because she hadn't actually felt happiness in so long. She had had a long discussion with the man about everything and anything that she had felt in the last two and a half years. About how she felt numb, about how she wanted to try to get better for Madison and Chord. About her dysfunctional family. About how she wasn't so sure about her marriage.. Kay shook her head. She didn't want to think about the talk.

Walking down the sidewalk in a laced cami, a pair of sweatpants, and her frog slippers, she probably looked like a complete idiot. However, the sun was down and most people were inside for the night, so she really didn't care. Her hair was up and the pony tail swayed as she took each step heavily. Her gaze was focused ahead, glad that she'd worn her glasses instead of her contacts as her vision blurred a bit. Blinking it away, she spotted what looked like Leo sitting in a lawn holding something across the street. Checking for cars, she crossed the street and knew just what it was. The egg carton. A small smile slid over her lips at that, but it quickly died out as she chewed on her lip. Kay stuffed her hands into her pockets and stopped at the edge of the lawn in front of Leo, staying on the sidewalk. "I don't think staring at the carton is gonna refill it," she joked halfheartedly, her voice still hoarse.

[leo]

You know that phrase? Friends are the family we choose for ourselves? Sitting outside, in a pair of khaki shorts, a white t-shirt and an empty carton of eggs made Leo wonder what the hell he had been thinking when he decided to choose Dylan. Sure, he wasn't a bad friend, most of the time, and Leo was sure that deep down under that rough exterior he cared for him...but he really did piss Leo off sometimes. Today had just been the breaking point for him. He'd gone to work and pined over Kayleigh the entire time, making him wonder if working there was bad for his health. Then he'd come home to a notice informing him if he didn't mow his lawn by eight pm that night, he would be fined. What the fuck? Was the universe suddenly against him? So Leo had stormed inside, changed into just a pair of shorts and mowed his goddamn lawn in the blistering summer heat. And then Dylan had the nerve? Leo had just cracked (no pun intended), ran into his kitchen, grabbed the eggs from the fridge and then hurled them with as much force as possible at his friend's car.

But what had that left him with? He was pretty sure he'd pulled something in his shoulder while he was chucking the eggs. There was a mess on his driveway of shells and yolk. As he looked at the empty carton, he also realized...he didn't have anything left to eat for breakfast now. It was as he was mulling over his options that he heard a voice he'd recognize anywhere. "Maybe I can put all the bits from my driveway and refill it." He smiled, kind of embarrassed about his situation before he realized maybe she should be the one blushing. "Nice outfit. Great for clubbing."

[kayleigh]

Kayleigh knew that the pills shouldn't have worked as fast as they did. She had taken one or two too many purposefully, and the dosage was probably too high as it was, but she just had to feel better, at least for one night before going onto the regular dosage. Kay had never in her life done drugs, or even thought of doing them, and there she was, high off of antidepressants. She felt pathetic, but she didn't care because she was actually feeling something other than the numb feeling that was always taking over her life with too much power. What she was wearing, where she was walking, none of it mattered because her head was slightly spinny anyway. She might as well be comfortable if she wasn't sure if she would be going home. It just wasn't somewhere she wanted to be. The night had started out fine, up until everything went down with Skylar.

Working with Leo felt like she was back in yearbook club all over every day, minus the constant happiness. She had wondered why they never actually hung out or anything, but she knew the answer to that without even asking. Chord. Quirking an eyebrow at his response, she made a grossed out face. "At least grass is good for you, right?" She looked down at her outfit, adjusting her cami awkwardly so it covered as much as the small amount of fabric could. It was either too low on top or didn't quite cover her stomach all the way. So, she settled for showing a tiny bit of stomach and kept her boobs from popping out. "I didn't feel like changing. Besides.. Frog slippers are all the rage now a days, haven't you heard? It's on all the major magazines." Kay blushed a small bit, shuffling awkwardly on her feet.

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[leo]

Leo was a pretty content guy. He'd learned life wasn't about always winning, and he'd made peace with himself a long time ago and moved on. He'd seen how good intentions steered people into the scary high way of narcissism. He'd seen it in the kids with their blank determination for straight A perfection, in ill-mannered dad's who've had their eyes focused on athletic scholarships since T-ball, and in the girls who worked so hard to make their outsides look good that they'd become vacant within. Leo Hayes was the boy who involved himself in the problems of everyone else. Don't get me wrong, he isn't a narcissist, he's a nice guy that ultimately wants the best for everyone. But he sometimes thought he had the power to change any outcome, he believed right then, that if he persisted he'd have the love of the girl he wanted in the end.

He grinned at her comment, standing up and brushing his pants off. "It's an all organic option." He laughed in his usual good-natured way, the stress of the day starting to slowly wash off of him. "Sorry, I didn't pick up the latest issue of Vogue." He stood there awkwardly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts, it was getting dark and the telescope he'd set up for that night sat in his backyard, thankfully, where Dylan had decided not to park.

[kayleigh]

Kayleigh never bothered with cracking jokes or anything around the house anymore, because both Chord and her knew that it wouldn't actually mean anything to her. She knew for the past two years that she should have at least tried, to make stuff bearable, but she just wasn't able to get herself to. Kay wasn't sure if it was the change of scenery or the fact that she felt like she was floating that made her even both with the jokes, but she didn't really care. Maybe it was deeper than that, though. Shaking her head to herself, Kay passed it off as shaking some hair out of her eyes. "Organic is no fun. All the good food is processed, y'know." She poked at an egg shell next to her foot, careful not to get any of the yolk or whites on her frog slippers.

Brown hair shook lightly as Kay shook her head in mock disappointment. "Sucks. It had some awesome tips on how to rock the pajama look." Biting down on her lip, Kay looked at her feet. "Uh.. I know it's late and whatever but uh.. Can I come inside, maybe?" She turned her gaze up to Leo, a hopeful look covering her face. Home didn't feel like home anymore, she just needed some time away. She needed a distraction, more so. "I mean, I can always just leave or something. I just.. Don't wanna go home.." Her voice trailed off, looking down at the ground again. Kayleigh shook her head, looking back up to Leo and licking at her lips, hoping he'd say that she could go in just so she didn't have to face Chord again.

[leo]

Leo was the type of guy people wanted to be friends with. For the most part, he was incredibly happy-go-lucky. He did have moments when he snapped, but for the most part it was hard to get under his skin. He was the king of easy conversation, of smiles and laughter. But with Kayleigh he found it coming harder for him, maybe it was nerves, or maybe it was just her. "Processed food causes cancer." He quirked a brow before shrugging. "But then again, so does breathing." He shuffled his feet as he watched her poke at a shill, conscious of the mess around him. She probably thought he was a pig. Leo made a note never to throw eggs at anyone again, or at last, to do it off his property from now on.

Hearing her offer, Leo was ready to fall over dead. Had Kayleigh Manning, I mean, Williams, just ask to come into his house? Spend time with him? Leo simply blinked at her twice before wiping the surprise off of his face. "Yeah! Yes. Of course." It was only towards the end that he realized what she'd said. She didn't want to go home. He turned around, tilting his head towards his house as he started walking up. His eyebrows creased--what was Chord doing to her that didn't want to stay in that house? In the time he'd always seen them together, he never seemed to treat her badly. Had he become a bad person after they were married. Leo stopped at his doorstep before looking up for a moment at the night sky, now speckled with stars. "Hey, want to see something instead?"

[kayleigh]

Being friends with other guys in high school wasn't exactly an option for Kayleigh. The only things she had time for were Chord and cheerleadering, and then yearbook. Had she actually wanted to be home through high school, she wouldn't have been staying after school until almost six every night, then going to see Chord most nights. But that was just the thing. She hadn't wanted to go home because that meant facing her parents, who were probably busy arguing or not even home again. What Kayleigh didn't understand was why Skylar was determined to think that she had it worse than Kayleigh. She'd dealt with their parents longer than the girl, but she forced herself to not let it get to her. She forced herself out of the house, though most nights she was stuck up until midnight or later listening to them argue anyway. On top of that, she had picked up the depression, gotten pregnant too young, and gotten married way too young.

"Everything causes cancer now-a-days. 'Oh, don't drink the water, you're gonna get cancer!'" Kay rolled her eyes. The enthusiasm in Leo's voice was nice to hear for a change as compared to Chord's pleas for peace around the house. Madison was going to grow up seeing her parents just how Kay had. Putting on a front, then slowly giving up that front. No, that couldn't happen. "Thanks." It wasn't like Chord did anything on purpose to make her upset, he just did. She was constantly reminded of how different their lives would be had he remembered to have a condom. In the heat of the moment though, that wasn't exactly something either of them were thinking about. Kay could blame herself just as much as she could blame Chord. She could have said no to the engagement, she could have said no to the sex.. Sadness was starting to peak through her high, and Kay didn't like it. She made her thoughts stop dead in their tracks. "Yeah, sure." Kay looked up at the sky. She hadn't actually looked at the stars in months, years maybe.

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[leo]

Leo smiled as she continued his joke. "One time, my mom told me I shouldn't stand in front of a microwave because I'll get ovarian cancer." The funny part had been, the woman had been totally serious. It must have been one of those things about having three girls and one boy--I guess after a while Mrs Hayes just found it easier to pretend Leo was one too. She actually seemed sort of devastated when she realized she couldn't pass down his older sister's hand-me downs to him. But growing up with sisters had his plus points, he was close with them and always had been. And he was a lot younger too, the baby brother. So they'd let him sit around during their conversations, while they flipped through magazines and talked about boys. About their ups and downs. Little Leo had picked up a lot about girls wanted back then. He just wasn't good at applying his knowledge.

He reached out to touch her forearm, the movement taking a lot of guts on his part. He used it to steer her towards his backyard and to his telescope. "I've always loved summer nights. Especially ones like these." He pointed up at a red speck, "It's clear enough you can see Mars even with out my telescope." He looked over at her, smiling. What Leo really loved about the stars were the fact they were unchanging. Sometimes it was nice to know there were things bigger than us. That some things were just out of our control. After all, the idea that we could control things is wishful thinking. Sometimes, there's just nothing that can be done. You can let go; that's all.

[kayleigh]

Kayleigh's eyebrows raised for a moment before she cracked up. "Did your mom not know you were a guy?" she asked, laughing again lightly. It was always nice to joke about other peoples' parents, it took the focus off of her family. Parents and siblings weren't something of her own life that she liked to deal with, so she focused on everyone else's. It just made stuff easier that way. If Kay could go back in time and fix stuff with Skylar before it got bad, she would in a heartbeat. She used to wish she could go back and make Chord put a condom on, but the thing was.. Madison was the best thing that had ever happened to Kayleigh. The pregnancy wasn't, but that little girl was so amazing. Sometimes she used to look at Maddy and feel nothing.. Those days were always the worst on her rollercoaster of feelings. Now it was more of a want to keep her baby safe, keep her from having to go through what she went through. But was that normal? To focus more on that than the love she had for her? To feel numb sometimes when she saw her? No, probably not. But that's what the pills were for.

His touch on her forearm left a little tingling sensation as she followed him. Chord hadn't given her that feeling in a while. Not since a couple weeks before she talked to her lawyer about filing for the divorce. None of what she was going through was normal for a happy family. They'd been doomed since day one, but Kay just didn't want to believe it. "I used to sleep on my trampoline sometimes before my parents got rid of it and before.. Stuff. I haven't actually really looked at the stars since.." Trailing off, Kayleigh shrugged and bit down on her lip, looking up at the sky to where he pointed. She looked back over to him to see the smile on his face. "There's a lot that I don't know about you, isn't there?" she asked, honestly curious. Instead of keeping her gaze on him though, she looked back up at the sky, chewing on her lip again.

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[leo]

He shook his head. Most guys were embarrassed about saying such stories, but Leo was comfortable enough with himself to tell everyone everything. "I think she wished I was a girl." It probably would have made things easier for her. She couldn't use the same parenting techniques she'd used on her other kids on Leo, it just didn't work that way. "I had three sisters," he added quickly, to avoid any further confusion. Leo adored his family, in all it's dysfunctional glory. His father, an architect, had designed them a beautiful house when Leo had turned six. The entire front of was made of glass--all things going on in the outside visible to those on the outside. It was known as the glass house in town. It was a beautiful, no doubt, and it taught Leo it was easier to not keep any secrets.

Leo watched her as she spoke, she seemed so open with him, and it made him love her just a little bit more. If that was even possible. He walked over to his telescope, motioning her over with a tilt of his head. He peered through it once, before turning it to let her look. "It's actually a lot of work looking through one of these. The Earth's continually moving underneath you and you have to move along with it," Leo looked over at her as he continued, hoping she'd understand the meaning of what he was trying to say. "You don't even realize how fast it actually happens, I actually find it kind of creepy and wonderful when I stop and think about it. But you know what it makes me realize? It makes you realize there's absolutely no way to avoid things from changing. You can sit there, and you can cross your arms, but underneath you," He kicked at the grass with his foot, "Things are still spinning away." Leo shoved his hands back into his pockets, wondering if his sudden outburst of speech would scare her off. "I could say the same for you, Kayleigh."

[kayleigh]

Kayleigh had always wondered what her life would be like had she had a different family situation. The possibilities were endless. Thing was, there was no changing the past, you could only control your future. That's why she had tried so hard to not let her parents ruin her high school experience. Instead, she had been the one to ruin it in her final year. Blinking, Kay tried to picture growing up with three sisters. One had been crazy enough for her. "Wow. That's a lot of kids." It would have been nice to have more than one sibling. To know that her parents loved each other enough to have that many kids. As it was, neither she nor Skylar had really been planned. They had been thinking about the possibility when Kayleigh came along early in their marriage, but they hadn't been prepared. She was a mistake, as so many people had put it before her.

Being around Leo was comfortable. He didn't ask a billion questions usually, and she just felt free to talk with him. Kay had always wanted to let somebody else into her life, but she had never actually talked about her parents to anyone other than Chord or Skylar, because they both knew. Well, and the therapist. But Kayleigh had never actually gotten close to anyone other than those two. It was a bit lonely sometimes. Kay leaned to look through the telescope, but when he started to talk more it caught her off guard. She listened as Leo spoke, looking at him with interest. "That's.. Wow." A blush dancing back across her cheeks, she looked back into the telescope, shrugging gently. "I don't open up to a lot of people.. Everyone just make assumptions about me, so I let them think what they think so I don't have to explain myself. If they wanna think I have a perfect life, they can think that. It's not my problem."

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[leo]

Four kids had never really seemed like a problem to Leo. But then again, he wasn't a girl. He'd walked in on his sisters just about ripping each other's heads off more than once, then again, he also remembered the love he saw between all of them. The sharing of clothes, and holding each other while they cried over a heart break. A big family was nice, it seemed nice, there was always someone to turn to. "Really? I didn't think there were enough." Leo still kept in touch with his sisters, or rather, they did with him. He'd have constant phone calls and texts from all three of them, always curious about how their baby accountant brother was coping all on his own. But really, they mostly asked if he had a girl friend yet.

He turned red as she seemed lost for words for a moment. What I can tell you about funny people is that they're a lot more deep than people perceive them to be. I mean, they have to be able to see things differently, anyway to be able to make a joke. But funny people, they see, I mean they really see things for what they are. "You don't mind people making lies about you in their head?" Leo furrowed his eyebrows, plopping himself down on the grass and looking up at the sky. "From what I've gathered, I think I can say your life isn't as perfect as everyone says."

[kayleigh]

Had little things been different for Kay, everything would be different to this day. A condom, being home more when she was younger, simply starting a conversation with someone other than Chord.. Nothing would be the same. She wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Kay couldn't picture her life without Madison, she loved the little girl with everything in her heart, even if sometimes she just felt nothing but numbness for her. Then again, she felt numbness for everyone in most cases, unless she was mad at them or they made her explode into tears. "I couldn't picture having more than one sibling. Then again, I probably have unknown half siblings running around like no tomorrow." Kay shrugged, as if it was no big deal. It had always bothered her, though. Her parents didn't even keep the cheating secret most of the time. They would bring their hookups home, or not come back for days on end.

Kayleigh had never really been able to guess what it was like talking to Leo, because she hadn't paid much attention to him, as horrible as that sounded. Everything had always been about Chord this, Chord that, twenty four seven. She'd never even given anyone the chance to get close to them, because she was content with people thinking she was just little miss perfect with an amazing home life. She didn't want to explain about why sleepovers couldn't be at her house, why she was at the school until six most nights, how Chord was holding her together like super glue. Super glue wears off eventually, though. Kayleigh had learned that. "No, because at least then I don't have to answer questions about stuff.. Which is why it's kinda weird that I actually like answering your questions.." Shrugging, Kay stepped back from the telescope, shuffling on her feet. "My life is the farthest thing from perfect. It's falling apart at the seams. Thing is.. It's never been very good, even when I was happy." She crossed her arms over her chest, biting down on her lip hard.

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[leo]

Leo wasn't one to live in the past, he took things as they were and moved past them. Yeah, it sucked that he never had the chance to get to know Kayleigh before, but he was getting his chance now. Sure, she had a baby and a husband, but it was just meant to be that way. It wasn't anything he could control, so he wasn't going to beat himself up over it. "Parents had a lot of mistresses...and..misters?" He wasn't really sure what the proper term for a male mistress was. It seemed strange to him, why marry if you didn't even feel for the other? Leo wanted to make sure he was sure when he proposed, he didn't want to be another divorce statistic. His parents had managed to stay together and so could he.

Kayleigh wasn't his first love, to put in frankly. Or maybe, she was, because he still had feelings for her. But Chord had dated girls as soon as he'd graduated, quite a few, actually. His last relationship lasted for a year before he realized he just didn't feel the same. That's something he'd learned, love wasn't a constant. It changed too. He'd loved every girl he'd been with, and looking at Kay now, he realized he'd always been in love with her too. "But you were happy. It's important to make the best of the worst, isn't it?"

[kayleigh]

Sometimes Kayleigh wondered if she was turning into her mom. The only difference was that she refused to go deep enough to cheat on Chord. Marriage just wasn't like that. Or, it shouldn't be. She felt as if everything they had worked for through high school had just started falling apart and there was nothing she could do to fix it. Maybe if she was actually normal instead of constantly bringing him down, there was a chance. But that was the thing. Kayleigh didn't want to have the reality that maybe, just maybe, after she got her medications all straightened out, she would find out that she just didn't want to be married anymore. She had never had the experience of actually dating around, of flirting with other guys, of getting to know other people. She wondered if that's what she needed, deep down. "My parents had just about everyone but each other. And now my mom finally had the guts to leave."

Kay was pretty sure that she had broken skin with biting her lip. She could taste the blood inside her mouth, so she quickly stopped biting down and licked at the spot that had been cut. That had happened a lot of times over the years. Nerves would take over, she'd bite her lip, get too worked up, and find out that she'd bit down too hard on her lip. The taste of blood was awkwardly familiar thanks to that. It was still disgusting, but she was used to it. "I guess. But at some point in time the worst became too much to handle and I lost that ability." She shrugged, going over to his porch and sitting down. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them loosely, licking at her lip. A yawn fell from her lips sitting there. The pills were starting to wear off, she could tell that much.

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