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Post by kayleigh on Jul 30, 2011 9:42:13 GMT -5
Things had gotten out of control. Kayleigh knew it was her fault, but she just couldn't handle it anymore. She was turning into the biggest downer in town, and she couldn't handle that Chord was the main person that she was bringing down. It wasn't that she'd stopped loving him, it just felt different now. The love that she had for him had changed, and she wasn't comfortable with it. The worst part of all of this was going to be dealing with the awkwardness of custody over Maddy. Kay had taken care of her on her own for months, but she knew that until she was straightened out on her medications she shouldn't be taking care of her daughter full time. She didn't want her full time anyway, because she wanted her to still have her father in her life. Kay knew that Chord wouldn't leave Madison with Kayleigh and disappear again. Everything felt so final, though.
The second that Chord had signed into the chat, Kayleigh had turned around on her walk and headed back toward the house. He'd found the paper, that much was obvious. Thing is, she had kind of hoped deep down that he would, it made it easier. But this wasn't easy, this was the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life, the most finalizing pieces of paper she'd ever seen. Kayleigh opened the door and shut it quietly behind her as she entered the house. She didn't feel comfortable calling it home, seeing as she'd probably have to pack up and leave it. Or Chord would have to, considering she was the one with a solid job, and it just didn't feel like home. Stuffing her hands into her pocket, Kayleigh walked into the house, looking for Chord.
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Post by chord on Jul 30, 2011 12:12:04 GMT -5
Chord had finally broken down after finding the papers and gone to his father's house. He had sat with Madison on his lap, as he discussed with the older man, his failing relationship. His father, always a kind man simply listened to him blabber on before finally speaking. "Chord, marriage is like a well-built porch. If one of the two posts leans too much, the porch collapses. So each must be strong enough to stand on its own." That had him thinking, as he sat looking down at the divorce papers, sipping coffee. He'd thanked his father and left. It was when he looked at his daughter that he felt the worst, she didn't want this innocent little girl caught in the midst of a custody battle. He made a promise to himself right then to make sure this was a relatively clean divorce, he wasn't going to take part in any mudslinging. Kayleigh no longer wanted him in her life, and as hard as it was to understand, he'd have to accept it. It wouldn't be far for him to shove himself at her again and again when she didn't want him.
He had come home after Kayleigh, not having expected her to be there so early. He cooed Madison through the front door as she wobbled along before pattering into the living room, not bothering to take off her shoes. He followed after her, papers in hand before spotting Kayleigh. "I'll move out. It makes more sense that way." It was weird thinking this was it, the finality of it after all those years.
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Post by kayleigh on Jul 30, 2011 20:15:10 GMT -5
Kayleigh had never wanted to go through divorce. Sometimes that was the last option, though. There was no point in dragging something on when both of them was just getting hurt. Kay had realized that Chord wasn't home after a few minutes of searching the house. Tears were welling up in her eyes when she sat down on the couch. No matter how many times she readjusted, she couldn't get comfortable. Everything in the house had memories of Chord, there was no way she'd ever feel normal about living there alone. Then again, everything could remind her of Chord in some way. She'd been with him for six years, there was no life without Chord. It wasn't like she wanted him completely out of her life. They'd see each other because of Madison, and Kay didn't expect anything less than awkward. She was just staring into the distance when Chord got home.
Madison ran into the living room first, hopping right into Kay's lap, still wearing her shoes. "Hey there, Mad Hatter." She hugged the little girl close, taking her shoes off for her. "I'll come play with you in a little bit, okay?" Maddy nodded and skipped off to her room, taking her shoes with her. Kayleigh bit down on her lip, looking up to Chord. She nodded gently. "Okay. What're we gonna do about..?" she looked in the direction that Maddy have ran off, not even needing to finish her sentence. She ran a hand through her hair, looking back to Chord. There was no way that Kay was going to put Madison through the trouble of a custody battle for the rest of her life.
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Post by chord on Jul 31, 2011 13:52:50 GMT -5
Chord was in love with Kayleigh, he'd always be in love with her. She was his first love, and no matter what, that record would forever keep spinning inside of him. It certainly wouldn't be as loud as it had been, or even as it was now, but he'd always hear that melody if he stopped for a minute just to think. Looking at Kay now, sitting on the couch, he couldn't help but wonder how lonely he'd made her. Not because he'd left her for so long, or didn't spend time with her, it was the feeling he'd forced on her from being around. From making her believe maybe everything would work out. He'd made her lonely with his presence. Because the lonely you felt with someone else--the wrong person--was the loneliest of all.
Blue eyes followed after their daughter before Chord moved to sit down on the couch beside Kayleigh. He didn't sit as close as he always did, rather, he kept a good foot of distance between them. "I can keep her for a while, since I don't have a job. But when I do, I can't be with her 24/7. I could pick her up after work during a certain week, or have her on weekends." It sounded strange, talking about her like she was an object to be passed around.
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Post by kayleigh on Jul 31, 2011 19:00:05 GMT -5
It was so weird to sit on the couch with Chord so far away. Lately though, there was just something about even having him close that made her feel alone. Loneliness had become a feeling that she'd gotten used to. Chord had such high hopes that they were going to get better and Kayleigh just didn't know how to feel that hope. She felt like there was a weight on her shoulder to be better for him, she was never given the time to worry about being better for herself. Everything was for Chord, and she needed to do something for herself for once. Everything that Kayleigh had done for years had been for Chord, for Madison, for everyone but herself. She didn't care how selfish it sounded, but she wanted just once to be able to have time to herself to figure out just who she was.
Kay nodded gently. "Okay. If you need money or anything for her, just let me know. Once you're working again she can come back to the daycare, they love her there. Weekends would probably work best.. Then maybe alternate holidays or something?" Everything felt so final. She didn't want to talk about Maddy as if she was just an object. The thing was, it was the easiest way to talk about it. "If you ever need help with her just let me know, I'll call or something if I ever need help, too." Kay had thought this through, to a point. She didn't want to stop talking to Chord or anything, she wanted to be able to call him if she needed to talk or if she needed help with Madison. Kay wasn't sure what she'd do if she ever lost Chord completely. This just felt like the right thing to do.
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Post by chord on Aug 1, 2011 12:31:16 GMT -5
"I'm sure the lawyer can figure out the holiday thing." He didn't want to think about what Christmas was going to be like without his little Madison, or rolling over to kiss Kayleigh awake. He didn't want to imagine sitting alone, not being able to hear his daughter cooing to her dolls in the room beside him. He wouldn't be able to wander into the kitchen on a Sunday morning to find his wife making breakfast. Everything was going to be changed--the woman he'd spent the last six years of his life with wouldn't be there anymore. It wasn't until he had really sat down and thought about it, that he realize how much he was going to hate this feeling. Chord blinked the tears away, looking over at her. He was going to at least try and be friends with her, and hopefully she'd want to be. Chord knew Kayleigh wasn't as close to him as she used to be, and she probably never would be again, but still. You can't lose apart of you forever.
Chord put his face in his hands, rubbing it a few times. "Yeah, I'll probably need a lot of help," not only with Madison, but patching his life back together, bit by bit. Right now, all the pieces he'd ever known were scattered and broken, and he wasn't sure how he was ever going to be able to rebuild. "When do we need to meet with the lawyer?" He didn't want to look at her, because if he did, Chord knew he'd be asking if he was making the biggest mistake of his life. Letting his love go.
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Post by kayleigh on Aug 1, 2011 14:36:17 GMT -5
Life wasn’t turning out to be anything like how Kayleigh had planned. She’d never wanted to have to get divorced, because she’d always hoped that everything would keep going well like it had during high school. Even when things were going wrong, Kay had always managed to keep a smile on her face. Then again, things had never exactly been the best for Kay. Bad parents, sibling arguments.. The only good thing that Kay had truly held close to her was Chord. She couldn’t ever lose him forever; she just couldn’t have him there as much as he was. It wasn’t comforting her like she needed; it was causing her to feel more and more alone. “Yeah, okay…” Kayleigh wasn’t sure how everything was going to work, but it scared her having to have holidays without both Madison and Chord there. Nothing was going to be the same, she knew that much.
Unable to look over at Chord, Kay propped an elbow against the arm of the couch, resting her face in her palm. “Alright. I’m here whenever you need me.” She had no idea what to do at this point. There was an awkwardness floating around the room and she didn’t like it. Kay bit down on her lip, staring ahead. “Wednesday after I get out of work at four thirty.” Taking a deep breath, she ran both of her hands through her hair, closing her eyes and leaning back against the back of the couch.
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