`you're too damn scared, BEATRICE

[chord]

Chord just wanted to smack himself sometimes, he could have never imagined himself to be such an asshole. Of course, he wasn't compared to some people, but lately all he could think of was what a horrible person he'd become. Not like what his father had wanted him to become. But Chord was going to do his best to change that, he really was. He had promised himself that night to fix everything, even if it killed him, he'd even put his wedding band back on as a sign. He still had feelings for Kayleigh, he always would, they were everlasting--like the ruins of Pompeii. Partially, that's why he'd showed up to Beatrice's door, a bag with vegetarian take-out in hand.

He missed spending time with her and talking to her. She'd been the first one he'd told about Kayleigh being pregnant and then the first to know he'd proposed. Something about her made him feel at ease, and he just missed being around her. It had been difficult to stay in touch with people after the baby, but maybe now was the time he should pick up where he left off with everyone he knew.

[beatrice marie evans]

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<font color=f9f9f9><b>tagged</b> / chord</font></center>
<td width="300" valign="top"><div text align="justify"><font size="-3"><font color="#6d6d6d"><center><img src=http://i52.tinypic.com/9a0n5x.jpg></center><BR>being deaf had its downfalls. for one, beatrice had to use a special phone so that she could understand what people were saying on the other line. this phone would automatically convert words to text that would marquee across the screen so she could read what they were saying to her. another thing that beatrice hated more than anything was the fact that she didn't have hearing aids. she couldn't afford it, which is why she has a job as a barista at the local starbucks so she could save up to buy those special hearing devices. luckily for beatrice, she learned to lip-read exceptionally well. her eye sight had always been perfect to make up for lack of hearing. beatrice thought it was amazing how the human body works.

she managed to fool her boss into believing that she's not deaf, but after a while the secret got out. but since she managed to prove to do her job well, her boss kept her around. smelling like espresso from the day's work at starbucks, beatrice plopped herself on the couch after just getting done with a shower. it didn't take long for her pixie cut locks to dry as she made her way into the kitchen of her apartment. before she could move any further, she spotted a light flashing at the door. someone must be knocking, since the light was put there for any sort of impact on the door. pacing her way over there, she glanced out the peek hole and spotted a familiar face. opening the door, she smiled. "haven't seen you in a while."</font></font><td width="25" bgcolor="#b7af9a" valign="top"><div text align="center"><font size="-2"></div></div></div></div></td></td></td></td></tr></table><br><br>

[chord]

When Chord had started kindergarten he remembered seeing a pretty little girl with curly brown hair. He had been sure she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his entire five years of life. He had spent the entire day gawking at her, not bothering to color any pictures or finish his snakes because he was too enamored. He had ran home that day to his house, oversized backpack clanking on his butt as he bolted down the street. He had burst through the door, ran upstairs only to find his mother in bed with the blinds drawn as always. So he ran back downstairs, fixed himself a snack and waited and waited till his father came home. As soon as the older man had come in Chord bolted to him, jumping up and down and recounting the days events. Finally, he told his dad he wanted to learn sign language, so he could talk to that pretty little girl.

Chord had ended up getting very efficient with sign language, having spent so much time up until high school talking to Beatrice. Of course, when high school hit, things changed. Bee was finally great at learning to talk and Chord got himself a girlfriend. He smiled when he saw her, a genuine one, like he would when they were younger. He held up the white paper bag for her to see, "I brought stir-fry. No meat." He spoke slow, remembering how difficult it was for her to keep up when he would start on a tangent. "I was thinking we could sit down and eat together or something?"

[beatrice marie evans]

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<font color=f9f9f9><b>tagged</b> / chord</font></center>
<td width="300" valign="top"><div text align="justify"><font size="-3"><font color="#6d6d6d"><center><img src=http://i52.tinypic.com/9a0n5x.jpg></center><BR>just seeing chord's face brought back a lot of memories. she recalled the time that they got married on the school playground, how typical was that? he was always quite eccentric when beatrice would see him and he always had a burst of energy that beatrice wanted. having lost her mom and brother in a house fire, beatrice didn't understand how they could just go away like that. it made it difficult for her to be happy-g0-lucky all the time, but she always had the determination to make it through to see the light. chord always had a way of cheering her up. she greatly appreciated the fact that this boy spent so much time learning sign language so that the two could hang out and understand each other. not a lot of people would put much effort into getting to know her, which is why she opened up to chord.

glancing down at the bag of stir-fry that chord brought with him, she was happy that he remembered she didn't like meat. beatrice even considered of going into the lengths of becoming a vegan, but then she would miss out on even more. she always wanted to eat healthy since middle school, so she changed her lifestyle to that of a vegetarian. when high school came along, there was a moment in time that beatrice considered going back to eating meat. it was when chord found an interest in another girl. that made beatrice's heart feel heavy as she watched him getting closer to the other girl, eventually getting her pregnant and rushing into marriage. she always thought it was stupid how he did things back then, but thinking back to the past, beatrice was still grateful to have chord. "sure, that sounds like fun. thanks." she motioned for him to head inside her apartment.</font></font><td width="25" bgcolor="#b7af9a" valign="top"><div text align="center"><font size="-2"></div></div></div></div></td></td></td></td></tr></table><br><br>

[chord]

Chord hardly noticed that Beatrice was deaf. He would tell his Aunt Esha who would come over every other weekend to babysit him how cool this girl named Beezus was. He would tell her about all the funny things she said, or that he knew they'd be friends forever. One weekend, Chord finally invited Bee to come over to introduce her to his Aunt. It was only after she left that Esha turned to Chord and asked why he hadn't told her she was deaf. He'd simply shrugged his shoulders and looked at her, completely confused. 'Because it wasn't important,' He had told her, rather matter-of-factly. It was this unconditional and accepting love of Chord that always made him shine, that made people care about him. He truly had been a great kid, and a pleasant teenager. But now? He couldn't even look at himself in the mirror.

Chord stepped inside, peering around for a moment before heading over to her dining table. He placed the bag there, before turning to her. "Teach me how to use the chopsticks? I still can't figure out how." He grinned at her, before turning around and pulling two takeout boxes along with the chopsticks and placing them on the table. He had honestly missed this too much. Spending time with Beezus, how easy it all felt to him.

[beatrice marie evans]

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<font color=f9f9f9><b>tagged</b> / chord</font></center>
<td width="300" valign="top"><div text align="justify"><font size="-3"><font color="#6d6d6d"><center><img src=http://i52.tinypic.com/9a0n5x.jpg></center><BR>if there was one thing that beatrice found more awkward was the fact that she had tried to avoid chord as much as possible while he was currently married to that other girl... whatever her name is, beatrice never 'listened'. (get it? ha, i'm so mean.) anyways, beatrice watched as chord set up the food at her small dining room table before she made her way over there and taking seat across from him. she had always learned to be facing someone whenever she needed to understand what anyone was saying to her. it was the best view in the house for her to lip-read. sitting beside someone was difficult unless she was entirely face-to-face with them. beatrice always thought that she shouldn't be so much closer to chord anymore with the worries that the girl might have an issue with beatrice being his best friend... like how most girls are possessive about their boys.

glancing down at the chopsticks that chord had mentioned, she smirked. "you never learned to use chopsticks? it's so easy," she spoke softly as she reached out for a pair of chopsticks. positioning them correctly in her hand, she demonstrated how to use them by taking a bite out of her stir-fry container. "see? now, let's get you to try them..." she added after her bite and then reached out to grab his hand. with her free hand, she took a pair of chopsticks and gently placed it in the correct position. moving his hand over his container of stir-fry, she helped squeeze the tips of the chopsticks onto a piece of food before moving it up to his mouth. "now open wide, baby... since you need someone to feed you, apparently..." even though she was joking, a part of beatrice wished he really was her baby. instead, she played it off as if he was actually an infant needing fed.</font></font><td width="25" bgcolor="#b7af9a" valign="top"><div text align="center"><font size="-2"></div></div></div></div></td></td></td></td></tr></table><br><br>

[chord]

Chord wasn't sure why things had gotten so distant between him and Beatrice. It always felt to him like he had lost touch with his sister when he had thought about her. It was like she had slipped out of his life and between his fingers. After he'd gotten married, he'd call her all the time, but something felt different now. Something had shifted and sometimes he felt like he didn't recognize his Bumblebee anymore. But then Chord would look in the mirror and not recognize the boy staring back at him. He had tried reaching out for her a few more times, but eventually he'd given up. Chord didn't need to concentrate on a friendship that wasn't working out when he had a family he needed to look after now. Blue eyes watched Beezus sit down across from him, bringing back memories of all the times before when they had eaten together. At fast-food restaurant, his place, her place, the school cafeteria, the park on a summer day. Thinking about this he smiled to himself as he pulled the lid off his container, popping a mushroom into his mouth with his hand.

"Whenever I've gone to an Asian place i just stab my food, or resort to my hands," he confessed, licking the sauce off his fingers. He watched her, fascinated as she showcased her talents for him, bending down and peering at her curiously. He let her place the chopsticks in his hands, following her as she guided him, but his mind distracted by how soft her hand was. Had it always been that way? It was because of this thought that he missed the noodles going into his mouth. Chord laughed as he grabbed it from his shirt and popped it into his mouth. Licking the sauce off his shirt, he shook his head. "I am not a baby." Though he very well knew he was. Complete and totally unprepared for the life he had decided to live.

[beatrice marie evans]

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<font color=f9f9f9><b>tagged</b> / chord</font></center>
<td width="300" valign="top"><div text align="justify"><font size="-3"><font color="#6d6d6d"><center><img src=http://i52.tinypic.com/9a0n5x.jpg></center><BR>"so, whenever you go to eat anything at an asian place... you basically cheat, then. that doesn't help with wanting to understand the different cultures and whatnot, you know?" beatrice pointed out in a matter of fact sort of way. smiling, she hoped he'd understand that she was joking about the cheat thing, but she was pretty serious about the culture aspect. then again, if he took the time to understand how to communicate with the deaf, then she had no doubt in her mind that he would pick up on using the chopsticks pretty quickly. a giggle escaped her crimson lips as she watched him make a mess of himself before offering a napkin. before she could beat him to cleaning up the mess, beatrice watched as he licked the stain off of her shirt. rolling her eyes, she laughed.

"you're definitely not a baby, then. you're a dog. quite a messy dog, too." when she had been finished with giggling at chord, beatrice realized that neither of them had anything to drink with the stir-fry. getting up from the table, she reached out for a glass in one of the cabinets and set it down on the counter. after closing the cabinet, she held the glass beneath a water faucet and started to run the tap water. grabbing some ice from the freezer, she dropped a couple before putting the ice cube tray back in. turning around, she asked "do you want anything to drink?" having not had company over in a while, she almost forgot about asking him whether he wanted a drink. "there's water, green tea, cherry kool-aid, or coffee... but i have to make a new pot."</font></font><td width="25" bgcolor="#b7af9a" valign="top"><div text align="center"><font size="-2"></div></div></div></div></td></td></td></td></tr></table><br><br>

[chord]

He shrugged his shoulders, grinning. "Yeah, you caught me. And I skip the Chinese lessons the fortune cookies have too." Chord was known to be a fast learner--it was why he was able to pick up instruments so quickly. He wasn't known as the best student at The Academy, he ended up graduating with an average of 71%. What Chord did do was put his heart and soul into always trying. Sure, he did not understand what was going on in his Algebra II course, but didn't stop him from staying up into the early hours of the morning studying for an exam he wasn't going to do very well on. He always tried, and he always pushed himself to do the best that he could do. That was why he had been able to pick up sign language so quickly, because his five year old self had sat down with the book for days. He practiced shaping his hands and fingers for a week before he had finally worked up the courage to approach Beatrice. 'Hi, want to be friends?' he had signaled to her that day so many years ago. He grabbed the tissue from the table, thinking for a moment before using his hands to tell her 'Thank you,' just for old time's sake.

At her comment, Chord let out a loud 'woof' before chuckling to himself. "Big slobbering dog." He grabbed the tissue and started dabbing on the stain on his shirt. It wasn't going to go away and he shrugged, placing the napkin back down. Blue eyes followed her as she walked over to the kitchen before turning back to his take-out. He grabbed the chopsticks and started fumbling with them before he heard her voice again. "Cherry kool-aid?" Chord's face broke out into a huge smile as he began recalling a memory. "Do you remember that time we used my dad's big fancy blender to try and make a slushie?" They had bought been seven at the time and it was a hot summer day in Bluewater. His dad hadn't been home and both children had been craving Slush Puppies all day. Finally, Chord had the bright idea of shoving ice and grape kool-aid into a blender. They forgot to push the top on tight enough. There were still purple stains on the ceiling in his father's home.

[beatrice marie evans]

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<font color=f9f9f9><b>tagged</b> / chord</font></center>
<td width="300" valign="top"><div text align="justify"><font size="-3"><font color="#6d6d6d"><center><img src=http://i52.tinypic.com/9a0n5x.jpg></center><BR>"chinese fortune cookies are the best. i always believe that they hold some sort of truth in my life," beatrice spoke softly in response. it was crazy how these two were still friends after all this time, even with her attempts at avoiding him. it was as if they were the opposite ends of a magnet. chord was musically talented while beatrice couldn't hear a single note, nor sing or show off musical talents. he was more into his music, surprisingly having graduated with decent grades while beatrice slaved over books and making sure she could graduate at top of her class. if there was no way she could participate in extracurricular activities with the condition that she's in, she might as well focus on her education above anything. not having many friends also made it easy to focus on school and not with the drama going around.

watching him sign 'thank you', beatrice smiled. she still appreciated how chord even remembered to sign to her. even though he was crazy for acting like a dog, she had to giggle. "at least you're not a slobbering dog that constantly has to lick my face or something... wait, don't get ideas." beatrice wanted to regret even giving him the thought of licking her face, since she had a feeling he might just listen and take the advice. as soon as he brought up the kool-aid incident, beatrice emitted out laughter. for a moment there, she couldn't even stop. just the fact that there were grape stains all over the ceiling still made her day. picturing the incident over and over in her head made it difficult for her to stop laughing, but once she caught her breath, she made chord a glass of kool-aid and handed it to him. "yeah, that was amazing. i miss back then. we never cared how crazy we got."</font></font><td width="25" bgcolor="#b7af9a" valign="top"><div text align="center"><font size="-2"></div></div></div></div></td></td></td></td></tr></table><br><br>

[chord]

"Really? Let's try this out, then." Chord put this chopsticks down and reached into the bag. He fumbled around inside of it until he found what he wanted. He pulled out a fortune cookie, tearing the plastic bag with his hands. Chord broke the cookie down the middle and pulled out the small white piece of paper, resting his elbows on the table as he read it out loud. "Love is the only medicine for a broken heart," He raised his eyebrows at her, before wiggling them, but continued reading. "Lucky numbers: 8, 38, 12. Thank you for eating at Wok N Roll." He grinned, handing her the slip of paper. "So you have a broken heart? And who is this new lover of your's? He grabbed the chopsticks, fumbling before finally placing his fingers in the right spots. He shoved some chow mein into his mouth, talking with his mouth full, "And what on earth could Wok N Roll represent in your life?"

Chord stuck out his tongue at her comment, panting a few times. He had started getting out of his seat at her comment but sat back down, pretending to act dejected. His own face broke out into a smile as she laughed, he grinned, chuckling to himself. "Do you remember my hair? It had purple splats in it for weeks." Her comment caused the smile to slip just the slightest. He did miss those times, he missed being a kid and how easy everything had been back then. "Yeah, I wish I'd never grown up." He took the glass, thanking her and taking a drink, trying to shake the thought from his head.

[beatrice marie evans]

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<font color=f9f9f9><b>tagged</b> / chord</font></center>
<td width="300" valign="top"><div text align="justify"><font size="-3"><font color="#6d6d6d"><center><img src=http://i52.tinypic.com/9a0n5x.jpg></center><BR>beatrice watched as chord opened up a random fortune cookie and read out the contents aloud. although she couldn't exactly hear the tone in which he recited the fortune, she could still read the words on his lips. love is the only medicine for a broken heart. staring at him, beatrice didn't even know what to say to that. turning around to check out her living room, she looked for something to fix. the curtains seemed to be nice and neat; the same goes for her collection of movies resting on a few shelves surrounding the flat-screen tv. her eyes shifted over to the coffee table before thinking that she should probably pick up some of the magazines and put it in the basket beside the love-seat. it was something to occupy her mind so that the word 'love' didn't cross paths with her thoughts.

as she cleared away the magazines from the coffee table, beatrice moved back over to her seat at the dining room table. "uhm... no lover," she shrugged, acting like it didn't bother her. "i have no idea about 'wok n roll', either. just some yummy stir-fry." none of the fortune cookie's numbers seemed to be lucky to her anyway. her favorite number was two. but, having a favorite number didn't entirely meant that it was a lucky number, either. shrugging that thought out of her mind, beatrice thought back to the image of chord's purple streaked hair. "it was such a good look on you. i think we should do it again. this time, not grape. maybe cherry... or lime!" getting hyper for a second there, beatrice calmed herself down as she worked on finishing up her portion of stir-fry. "why did we get so old? we're not even middle aged, either. a lot has changed." she became quiet.</font></font><td width="25" bgcolor="#b7af9a" valign="top"><div text align="center"><font size="-2"></div></div></div></div></td></td></td></td></tr></table><br><br>

[chord]

Chord watched with an arched brow as she shuffled around the room, seemingly avoiding answering his question. Was she hiding something from him? Even after she answered, the playful and knowing smile remained on his face. "Then you've been proven wrong, fortune cookies don't have a relation to your life." He put down the slip, still smiling to himself, wondering who her potential lover could be. Either way, he reached back into the bag to pull out his own cookie. He ripped open the packaging and cracked the cookie in half, putting it in his mouth. Chewing, he read his out loud, "The one you love is closer than you think." He looked over at Beatrice, not sure what to make of his. Did that mean Kayleigh was easing herself back to him? Maybe things were going to become better instead of worse for once.

He pulled at a piece of hair remembering how the front had been all purple. Chord quickly shook his head at her suggestion. "If you want a slushie, we'll go buy it at the Irving." They'd utterly destroyed his father's blender and he didn't want the same to happen to Beatrice's. Still he smiled at her excitement before her last comment, his features falling. "Having a baby at eighteen changes a lot." He looked down at the table, away from her. Fixing his eyes on a crack as he furrowed his eyebrows. He already had the life of a middle aged man, with a failing marriage and a life he couldn't afford.