∞ just shout whenever , [annah]

[savannah raegan king]

though quin hated it, annah thought the fact that people compared him to justin bieber was hilarious. sure, sometimes she laughed when she shouldn't, but she wasn't trying to be mean. she just didn't know how else to react. besides, it wasn't like she ever compared the two herself, because in her mind there would never be a comparison -- she was with quin, and she wouldn't change that for anything; while everyone else was busy obsessing over their celebrity crushes, annah was more than happy to focus her time on someone that was going to be there for her no matter what.

trying to gain her composure, annah was caught off guard as quin brought his lips back to hers. breath catching in her throat, she lifted her free hand to rest against his cheek. pulling back abruptly, annah's eyes went wide as she watched quin freeze completely. did yo-- she started, cut off as she watched quin bolt from the theater. throat closing up, heart racing, annah scrambled up from her seat to follow him. her thoughts were jumping around her head like a bunch of crickets, and her hands shook as she pushed open the theater door, eyes looking frantically for him. pausing, she bit her lip and nervously made her way over to where he was sitting. with a deep breath, annah slid down the wall to sit next to him, pulling her knees up to her chin. h-hey.. she winced, looking away briefly as her voice shook. turning back once she'd caught her breath, annah reached forward and gently lifted the hat away from his eyes. it's okay.. she whispered, hands shaking again as she held his hat.

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[quin]

quin had never felt stupider. he'd never actually told annah that he loved her until that second, and he felt like a complete idiot for it. not only had he blurted it out, but he'd ran away. like a little kid scared of a clown or some shit. he had a knack for making a complete fool of himself, but usually it didn't actually bother him. the thing was, with annah around he did care. especially when he got so freaked out that he ran away after telling her that he loved her. it wasn't that he didn't or anything, it was because he got that gut feeling that something shitty was going to happen because he'd gone off and said it. just like last time.

everything wasn't okay, though. his face was bright red, and he could feel the tears practically fighting world war three behind his eyes to try and get out as he held them in. quin couldn't lose annah. no way. she was his entire world and that wasn't something he was willing to lose. it wasn't something that he could lose. at all. annah was all he really had other than his family. his eyes were practically glued shut when he felt annah lift his hat. he wasn't sure he could speak with the lump in his throat, but the words felt as if they were going to fly out anyway. word vomit, cool. no it's not. i.. fuck. i do.. l-love you.. i just.. fuck, i can't lose you, annah. ican't. he squeezed his eyes shut tighter, breathing in deeply.

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[savannah raegan king]

saying i love you was a big deal for annah. it wasn't that she was afraid to say it, or worried about not getting anything in return, she was just awful at expressing how she really felt. especially now that she was finally in a situation that was calling for her to say it. sitting in front of quin, she could hardly breathe. she wanted to be able to say it confidently, without sounding like she was hesitating, but her hands were shaking so much that she had to pull quin's hat to her chest in order to hide them from view.

the only other time annah had seen quin so distressed was the night he'd broken down in the park before they'd started dating. sure, she'd never asked why (or for any details) but it wasn't as if she'd expected to see him like that again. watching him now, annah bit her lip awkwardly and held out a shaking had to rest on his knee. i.. she paused, swearing lightly under her breath when the words didn't come out right away. quin.. i, uhm. taking a minute, she swallowed hard even though her throat felt like sandpaper. i.. loveyoutoo.. exhaling quickly, annah scooted as close as the space between would allow. and you're not goin' to lose me. i'm not goin' anywhere.

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[quin]

quin had never actually told anyone about mikayla. he kind of felt like he owed it to annah to tell her, because this wasn't the first time he'd freaked out like this on her because of his ex. he hated being that way. not able to catch his breath or open his eyes. there was no way in hell that seeing annah could calm him if his eyes were closed, so he was basically just making it worse on himself. usually he just had to take a breath, look at annah, and he'd start to calm down. he couldn't get himself to open his eyes because he could see everything happening again. mikayla, his mikayla, leaving him. it wasn't even her choice, and quin couldn't be the reason for annah getting hurt like mickey had.

he shook his head. as much as he loved to hear her say it back, it was still killing him inside. she didn't.. it was my fault.. i.. i told her i loved her and she.. she'sgone.. fuck. it was my fault. i can't.. i can't let anything happen to you.. it was my fault.. quin squeezed his legs as close to his chest as he could, still having troubles breathing. my.. my last girlfriend.. i told her and.. and they took her.. she's gone.. f-forever.. it was my fault, i shouldn't have pissed them off.. i.. what if something happens to you? i can't let anything happen. i can't.. he shut his mouth, burying his face against his knees as his entire body tensed up.

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[savannah raegan king]

as much as annah had been curious about quin's ex, she'd never felt like it was her place to question him about it. besides, it wasn't as if either of their past relationships was going to affect how she felt about him. so instead of worrying about what had been, she'd chosen to push forward with her own life, and what they had now. in retrospect, it had seemed like a solid plan, but everything that goes around comes back around, right? and in this moment, it seemed like a lot was coming back around.

blinking, annah leaned away from him, eyes wide. i.. what? she mumbled, trying to make sense of what he was saying. dropping her hands from her chest, she balanced his hat on her knee before wrapping an arm around his shoulder. her head felt like the tea cups at a theme park, spinning as fast as they could go until she felt nauseous. everything he was saying seemed to enter her head, get thrown about, then kicked right out. sliding her arm down his back, annah let it drop back to her side as she tried to come up with something to say. but what could she say? she couldn't guarantee that nothing would ever happen to her, because that was impossible.

taking a deep breath, she folded her arms across her knees and rested her cheek against them in order to look at him. i'm.. i'm sorry that she was taken away from you, quin. no words can ever tell you how sorry i am you were put through that.. pausing, she licked her lips nervously. but i don't want you to be scared that you're goin' to lose me.. fingers digging into her arms, annah looked up at the signs ahead of her. i guess all i can say is.. the only way you're goin' to get rid of me is if you leave, because i have no intention of goin' anywhere. voluntarily or involuntarily.. but i won't make any promises, even though i want to, in case any of them are broken. looking back at him, annah wound her arm around his shoulders once again. and if.. tellin' me you love me makes you scared that you're goin' to lose me, then you don't have to tell me. 'cause even though you might not say it, i already know.

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[quin]

the past had made quin who he was, and he knew in some way it was going to keep coming back until he actually told someone about it. not even his social worker knew what actually happened. she knew about what happened, but she didn't know quin's side. he'd been too broken to ever tell anyone. besides, it wasn't like he'd ever actually been close enough to someone to tell them until annah came along. even then, they hadn't been very close when he had first broken down in the park. seeing one of the guys there had been quin's breaking point. he hadn't known what to say or do and that left him curling in a ball, crying his eyes out and trying not to throw up.

if quin could change the past, he would. thing is, if that hadn't happened, he didn't know where he would be today. little things could change a lot about a day, a year, a life. quin had learned that. then again, that wasn't exactly a little thing. it had completely turned quin's life around. he had had to get moved to a new home, which had been coming anyway. his outlook on love had been completely altered. and, to top it all off, he broke down at the worst times sometimes. it had taken months before he had finally stopped crying himself to sleep over it, and there he was, breaking down in the middle of a movie theater hallway. where he worked.

as much as he wanted to open his eyes to look at annah, he just couldn't. if he opened his eyes, the tears would force their way out on their own and then he'd be screwed. as it was, his throat was closing up. it felt like there was a huge lump in it that was slowly growing. that before-crying feeling always bugged him. it made it impossible to breathe so you just had to let the tears out, but he didn't want to. he was sick of crying over it, but he was panicking to the point where they were bound to just flow out anyway. as annah finished speaking, he knew he couldn't hold them back anymore. he rested his head against her shoulder as they started to pour out. he felt like he had a waterfall coming from his eyes. quin had wondered since day one how he'd gotten lucky enough to get annah, and he was definitely wondering it then. he mumbled, th-thankyou, as he wrapped both of his arms around her waist, clinging to her for dear life. he couldn't lose her.

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